Post by rick on Apr 13, 2006 6:05:18 GMT -5
From Post-Trib
American lists 'needs’
for move to Mexico
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff, such as passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy President Vicente Fox that I'm on my way?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flagpole at their school, with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won’t make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car and have a gigantic celebration on the Fourth of July.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes. I don’t want labor laws or tax laws enforced.
13.
Please tell all the people never to say a critical word about me or the strain I might place on the economy.
I know this is an easy request because you do all these things for the people who come to the United States from Mexico. I am sure Fox won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him.
Tony Zupan, Valparaiso
American lists 'needs’
for move to Mexico
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff, such as passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy President Vicente Fox that I'm on my way?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flagpole at their school, with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won’t make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car and have a gigantic celebration on the Fourth of July.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes. I don’t want labor laws or tax laws enforced.
13.
Please tell all the people never to say a critical word about me or the strain I might place on the economy.
I know this is an easy request because you do all these things for the people who come to the United States from Mexico. I am sure Fox won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him.
Tony Zupan, Valparaiso
