Post by bbtds on Feb 12, 2011 10:43:51 GMT -5
From the March 2011 issue of Men's Journal Magazine.
The Low Post / Matt Taibbi
A Guide to Surviving March Madness
My bracket-filling approach to the NCAA tourney is not much about picking the winners as minimizing the pain.
I have a profound mistrust, bordering on hatred, of the NCAA basketball tournament. Here's a sport I don't care about at all for 11 months of the year, and then suddenly, every March, Dick Vitale is launching spittle in my face, and I've got to relearn how to pronounce Krzyzewski and tell the difference between John Calipari and Rick Pitino and have an opinion about which about which spunky little team in rural Indiana or Tennessee got hosed out of a tournament bid. Worst of all, I have to fill out a tournament bracket, because everybody does, even the president.
Most people are pressed into dropping 20 bucks at the office. I work mostly at home, alone, a routine that theoretically absolves me from filling out a bracket. But I always do anyway, for the simple reasons that since I'm the only living breathing person occupying my day-to-day work environment, I'm guaranteed to win my office pool every year and walk away with the $100 prize I set aside for myself, which is pretty damn satisfying. It takes a lot of skill to win this consistently, and so I'm here to share some of my prognosticating wisdom and help you endure another March Madness season.
1. ALWAYS PICK BALL STATE TO WIN IN THE FIRST ROUND. (OH, AND VALPARAISO) I have no idea where Ball State is, and I'm determined to never find out. Same with Valparaiso, which sounds like a Florentine-style caserole made with rabbit meat. But I pick these teams to win opening-round games every year, even when they're not playing in the tournament, and if I do this enough, eventually Ball State is going to knock off Duke or Texas and I'm going to look like a genius. I just can't write the words "Ball State" often enough to make it not funny. Ball State. Ball State. Ball State.
2............
(you can buy the magazine if you want to read the rest of the article)
The Low Post / Matt Taibbi
A Guide to Surviving March Madness
My bracket-filling approach to the NCAA tourney is not much about picking the winners as minimizing the pain.
I have a profound mistrust, bordering on hatred, of the NCAA basketball tournament. Here's a sport I don't care about at all for 11 months of the year, and then suddenly, every March, Dick Vitale is launching spittle in my face, and I've got to relearn how to pronounce Krzyzewski and tell the difference between John Calipari and Rick Pitino and have an opinion about which about which spunky little team in rural Indiana or Tennessee got hosed out of a tournament bid. Worst of all, I have to fill out a tournament bracket, because everybody does, even the president.
Most people are pressed into dropping 20 bucks at the office. I work mostly at home, alone, a routine that theoretically absolves me from filling out a bracket. But I always do anyway, for the simple reasons that since I'm the only living breathing person occupying my day-to-day work environment, I'm guaranteed to win my office pool every year and walk away with the $100 prize I set aside for myself, which is pretty damn satisfying. It takes a lot of skill to win this consistently, and so I'm here to share some of my prognosticating wisdom and help you endure another March Madness season.
1. ALWAYS PICK BALL STATE TO WIN IN THE FIRST ROUND. (OH, AND VALPARAISO) I have no idea where Ball State is, and I'm determined to never find out. Same with Valparaiso, which sounds like a Florentine-style caserole made with rabbit meat. But I pick these teams to win opening-round games every year, even when they're not playing in the tournament, and if I do this enough, eventually Ball State is going to knock off Duke or Texas and I'm going to look like a genius. I just can't write the words "Ball State" often enough to make it not funny. Ball State. Ball State. Ball State.
2............
(you can buy the magazine if you want to read the rest of the article)