Post by rick on Jan 14, 2007 18:14:05 GMT -5
"You know you're a redneck when......
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
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2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
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3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
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4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
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5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
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6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
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7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
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8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
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9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
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10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
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11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
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12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
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13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
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14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
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15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
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16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
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17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
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18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
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19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
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20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
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21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
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22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
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24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
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25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
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26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
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27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
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28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
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29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
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30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
=
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
=
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
=
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
=
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
=
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
=
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
=
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
=
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
=
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
=
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
=
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
=
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
=
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
=
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
=
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
=
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
=
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
=
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
=
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
=
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
=
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
=
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
=
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
=
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
=
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
=
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
=
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
=
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
=
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.